


Heavy with the Burden of Lifetimes

by DeviantDarkBelle



Series: Kylux Positivity Week 2020 [8]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Kylux - Freeform, Kylux Positivity Week 2020, M/M, Our boys are still our boys, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 11:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22640620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeviantDarkBelle/pseuds/DeviantDarkBelle
Summary: Day Seven: 'Thinking of You'The Resistance takes Hux with them, instead of leaving him on the Steadfast to perish. He is thankful but he doesn't like where he is. Plus, he misses Kylo.The Resistance welcomes Hux, to his surprise, and one night Dameron drags him out of his rooms to have a drink and play some games.The man at the makeshift bar... it can't be.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Kylux Positivity Week 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1620496
Comments: 11
Kudos: 76
Collections: Kylux Positivity Week 2020





	Heavy with the Burden of Lifetimes

**Author's Note:**

> And once again, my usual note.  
Apologies for errors in grammar, punctuation and tense shifts.  
Still struggling with this damn cold, so my head is still fuzzy.

He knew what he was doing; he knew it was what he had to do. He had lost Kylo to the Emperor and he lost _his_ Order as well. He had no choice but to help the Resistance, he had no choice but to defect. He knew he’d never see Kylo again, and that was the part he hated the most.

Hux was surprised by how the Resistance welcomed him. They knew if it weren’t for him, they’d all be dead, that the Final Order would be ruling the galaxy, led by the Emperor.

Hux still despised them, he would never agree with their ideals. But the Emperor was dead, _Pryde_ was dead and at that moment, that was enough for Hux.

He had no army, no fleet, but he didn’t want to stay with the Resistance longer than he had to. He wasn’t a fool though, he knew it would be a long time before they’d even consider letting him go, if at all.

He was still _Starkiller_.  
He would always be Starkiller and he didn’t mind that at all.

He had heard the rumblings, the rumors, and gossip that Kylo Ren was dead, that Ben Solo returned only to fade away soon after. Hux wasn’t sure what part of that hurt him the most.

During the night cycles, Hux would stay in his rooms and write. He’d pen notes to the days long gone, to the people no longer there.

He hated it with the Resistance, but he was alive.  
But he missed Kylo, missed Ben, terribly.

Yes, Ben.

When they had gotten close, when they pledged themselves to each other, in their most intimate and loving moments, they were Armitage and Ben. Armie and Ben. That was theirs and theirs alone.

But that Ben, _his_ Ben was much different than the Ben from Exegol. The Ben that saved the girl.

Perhaps he never truly knew Kylo, or Ben, at all.

That didn’t stop him from writing notes, and journal entries of their escapades. It passed the time, made the nights less lonely. And it felt like Kylo was there with Hux. And Hux held on to that tight.

He was productive and a team player by day, and a recluse at night. It had the others begin to worry. Not that they thought he was plotting something, but they were concerned about his well-being. 

Hux was a tough one to crack. It was near impossible. Only one had ever been able to do that…

One night, Hux found Dameron lingering at his door. He was suspicious and, nervous. Perhaps his time was coming to an end. Hux’s mind whirled with scenarios and possibilities.

“C’mon Hux. A bunch of us are going to play some games and have a drink or two, You should really join us.”

Hux knew they did this most nights and he knew he always had an invite, so this personal invitation from Dameron had Hux’s mind trying to play catch up.

“Come on. Just this once. Just try it. Hang out with us!”

Dameron was infuriating, but Hux always knew that. He sighed dramatically and playfully rolled his eyes. If he went now, he’d get it over with and he’d be left alone again.

Hux liked those odds.

Hux pulled on a sweater and followed Dameron. They didn’t have to walk for very long before voices became louder and boisterous laughter could be heard.

Part of Hux’s heart ached.

It reminded him of the times they would go and share a drink with their officers. When they played it up that they were nothing more than colleagues. Everyone knew better though, even when Hux and Kylo didn’t know themselves.

When they stepped into the room, it exploded with “Hux!” shouted in excited tones. Everyone seemed genuinely happy and excited that he finally chose to hang out.

Hux walked deeper into the room, towards the makeshift bar and the group seemed to part for him. He thought it was odd. It was very reminiscent of when he was a general.

He was glad he had yet to have a drink in hand when he laid eyes on the figure at the bar.

Long dark hair.  
Eyes that pierced into one’s soul.  
A regal nose, skin dotted with moles like the constellations.

And when the man stepped forward and smiled, Hux felt like he was dead. He felt both weightless and heavy with the burden of lifetimes.

Everyone had returned to their drinks, to their loud stories, and to their card games. For a time it was like only the two of them in the entire galaxy.

“I don’t know who you are,” Hux finally said and the words broke his heart. Those weren’t the words he dreamt he’d say to his lover after all the time they had been apart. After everything they had been through.

“Yes, you do.” The man’s voice was low and seeped under Hux’s skin.

The man touched Hux’s hand and a flood of memories came; visions, dreams, feelings. These were Kylo’s. How Kylo saw Hux, how much he loved him, how much it hurt to lose him. There were flashes of intimate moments. The times they brought the Resistance down to their knees. Before the Emperor, before Pryde.

They embraced and Ben’s large hand cradled the back of Hux’s head as they finally reconnected. “I’m still Kylo,” Ben whispered against Hux’s ear. “But out here, with these people, I have to be Ben. Please understand. And please, forgive me.”

Hux was thankful to have his back towards the room and his face in the crook of Ben’s neck as a sinister smile crossed his face slowly.

"I knew it. I had to believe it. I held onto this thought for dear life.”

Ben cupped Hux’s face and kissed him. It was soft and sweet, lingering yet with a hint of urgency.

They pulled away slightly, just enough for Kylo to whisper against Hux’s lips. “We’ll burn it all to the ground. And you and I will be triumphant. Together.”


End file.
